Choices
by Writer of Aenen
Summary: OFCxOMC: Rael's past- or lack thereof- has kept her apart from the rest of society, giving her time to hone her skills as a Healer. But a simple request for Healing turns her entire world upside down, and now the Choice is hers.


Title: Choices  
>Arc: between Mage Storms and Darrne's Tale<br>Part: 1 of ?  
>Fandom: Mercedes Lackey's ValdemarVelgarth universe  
>Characters: OFC Rael Evenlight, OMC Jase Magestar (and their Companions), Silverfox<p>

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><p>Rael sighed and used the back of her dirty hand to shove some loose hair out of her eyes. She didn't notice the smudge she left on her sweaty forehead; all of her attention was focused on the garden plot in front of her. The dangerous herbs were left solely in her keeping, as she had come to discover that she had a particular ability to make plants grow.<p>

She heard the soft sound of footsteps behind her, and though her shoulders tensed slightly and the back of her neck prickled, she did not look up or turn around. This garden was her sanctuary, and the other Healers knew not to bother her when she was here, save for emergencies. So either this was not one of the other Healers, or it was someone sent to find her for a specific purpose.

_It had better be someone bleeding to death_, she muttered to herself. Her hands continued their tender ministrations to the delicate plants, waiting with carefully-cultivated patience for whomever sought her to speak.

The person shuffled his or her feet, and she guessed it to be an adult- at the very least, an adolescent- rather than a page, which probably meant it was a one of the trade-class who wanted her attention. A Healer would come him or herself, not send someone, no matter how busy they were. A noble would send a page. And the pages were all children between seven and eleven.

Still, she did not look up, only continued to wait. In a contest of patience, she would win. She always did.

Sure enough, her visitor lasted only three more minutes before he- and it was definitely a he- cleared his throat. Rael bit the insides of her cheeks to keep from smiling; she knew it was no triumph that she was able to predict the behavior of people whose only concern were the rules she cared nothing for.

Slowly, she continued transplanting her precious valerian, inspecting each leaf with minute care for any sign of parasite, rot, or foreign spores. It wasn't necessary, as she'd done that before bringing them out of the greenhouse this morning, but she wasn't interested in catering to whatever jumped-up merchant thought he was important enough to interrupt her today.

Finally, the person must have realized that she wasn't going to respond to anything less than whatever request he'd come to make. "Milady Healer, I beg your attention." The soft, slightly hissing voice did make her smile, and she nodded once as she carefully patted down the soil around her plant. Brushing her hands on the long-ago-brown apron she wore over her Greens, she rocked to her heels and rose to her feet. Only then did she turn, and her mouth dropped open.

With a snap, she wrenched her jaw closed once more and colored. "I beg your pardon," she said, at the same time as the little person. She recognized the _hertasi_, a sentient creature that looked, for all the world, like a large lizard that stood on its hind legs. They were industrious, smart, agile creatures who loved to design clothing, look after humans (whom they viewed as utterly helpless without them), and generally boss mages around.

This one was a deep green shading to gold on its nose, belly, and tail-tip. And he wore such an apologetic expression that Rael forgot to be irritated about being disturbed. She bowed slightly, still wiping her dirty hands. "What may I assist you with, master _hertasi_?" she asked politely.

The lizard-man chuckled. "No master am I, Lady Healer. I am Sefor."

"And I am no lady, Sefor. If it please you, I prefer Rael."

He nodded his head once. "I come to you with a request from Silverfox, he who dwells with Firesong."

"Out in Companion's Field," Rael nodded. "He built a Tayledras Vale in one corner, yes?" Sefor nodded. "What request could your Kaled'a'in ask of me?"

Sefor tilted his head to one side. "The Healers tell me you are one of the few touch Healers who are versed in nonhuman as well as human physiology." He cleared his throat again. "Please, Silverfox wishes to consult with you."

He looked so uneasy that Rael was immediately suspicious. "Consult with me about what? You have yet to tell me who my patient will be."

Sefor shifted on his feet, looking as uneasy as she felt. He coughed. "Please, Milady Healer…we…that is…Silverfox…"

Rael frowned. Then the pieces fell together. Her knowledge of nonhuman physiology, the unease, the reluctance to talk about the problem or the patient…She bent and picked up her kit, never farther away than arm's reach, settling its strap over her shoulder. She untied the apron and moved to set it on the bench beside the garden's gate. "Lead on, then, friend," she said quietly. Sefor looked greatly relieved, and led her from the garden, across the Collegium grounds towards Companion Field.

Though she'd lived in Haven for almost six years, following an accident that had left her without memory or identity, with four of those years at the Healer's Collegium, she remained unused to the queer traditions of these Valdemarans, and the Companions made her uneasy, as though she knew something important about them, but was only _just_ unable to recall it. She stayed away as much as she could, and they didn't bother her. But every time she needed to go through or near the Field, she could sense the eyes of Companions following her until she had passed out of sight.

This time, she knew there was no mistaking the way several Companions turned their heads- and in a couple of cases, their entire bodies- to watch her pass through their territory. Keeping her head down and slightly averted, she hurried across the green field after Sefor, avoiding eye contact with anyone else.

Her soft leather slippers, meant for her garden or the clean, stone floors, made no sound on the packed dirt path that led to the glass-walled "Vale" tucked into a corner of Companions Field. Sefor led her straight to the glass and opened a small glass door, letting her inside. She gasped at the moist heat that embraced her when she stepped inside, and immediately unwound her woolen overrobe- perfect for the early spring day outside, but overwhelming in such close heat- draping it over her arm. Sefor tugged it from her and hung it on a hook set into one of the trees that grew against the glass wall. She nodded her thanks and allowed him to lead her through the thick foliage until she couldn't be sure that if she turned around, she would return to the entrance.

After a few brief moments of walking, they came to the most massive tree in the small enclosure. Steps were built into the trunk, leading up to a sort of tree house. _Ekele_, she knew they were called. Sefor indicated she should precede him up the steps, and she did so without complaint. Her head and shoulders emerged from a trap door in the floor of what she discovered to be only the first floor of an extensive and elaborate home built above the ground.

Sefor followed her up and indicated a second set of steps. He darted up them and opened a second trapdoor. "I brought a Healer," he said to someone in the room, beckoning to her at the same time. Rael followed and soon found herself squinting in dim light around a room that held two small beds and three people. One sat, expression serene, his floor-length black hair braided sensibly and bound up- she knew Silverfox by sight. The second man paced beside the only uncovered window in the room, but his gray uniform told her more than she wanted to know about his identity. This, then, had to be Jase Magestar, Silverfox's nephew, Herald Trainee, and a powerful Adept mage. His green eyes spat fire at her as she stood just inside the trapdoor, looking around.

On the bed, the third figure caught and kept her attention. It was small, twisted around itself as though cold or in pain. Rael saw a pair of bedraggled, tawny-feathered wings emerging from the child's skinny shoulders. Feathers mingled with the long, shaggy hair on its head, but it was the thrashing tail that made her realize that this was no natural, nor even mage-made creature.

"A changechild," she breathed, stepping the rest of the way into the room.

At the sound of her voice, the child lifted its head, and she gasped at the terror and pain in his eyes. She could see now that it _was_ a boy, probably no more than eight, but closer to six. All of her aloof Healer's façade flew out the window as she rushed to the boy's side, tossing down her satchel and reaching forward to take one of his hands.

He drew them tight against his belly as he quivered, trying to get away. "Shh, sweeting, you're safe," she crooned, using the unique quality of voice that none of the other Healers had ever seen or even heard of before. Calm washed over the boy, and even Silverfox and Jase looked more relaxed, though Silverfox was staring at her in astonishment.

She didn't turn around to see what Jase was doing. The boy wiggled slightly closer to her, and she smiled gently. "That's it, love. Will you give me a smile, then?"

Tentatively, his lips curved in the barest of smiles. She touched his cheek and let a small tendril of her gift sink into him. His eyes immediately slid closed and his whole body went limp as he slipped into sleep.

Without removing her hand, she looked up at Silverfox. "What happened?" she demanded, her temper barely contained. She didn't need her eyes to tell her that this child had been badly beaten. Though his wing bones were intact, someone had, apparently, yanked handfuls of the feathers out by the roots.

"Erlae and some of the other Companions found him. She called me because she knew how you Valdemarans react to those who have been magically altered," Jase snapped, his disgust clear. "He was beaten when someone noticed that he had _wings_."

Ignoring his condescension, Rael bent over the boy and ran a hand gently over the surface of the top wing. "He has more than a few feathers loose. I can fix those. But the ones that are broken, or pulled out altogether will have to be imped back into place and regrown. He won't be flying anytime soon." She lifted an eyebrow at him. "And your inflammatory temper is _not_ helpful. Bad enough I have to deal with my own. Control yourself or leave."

He stared at her in shock as Silverfox laughed gaily. "Well said, milady Healer," the kestra'chern chuckled. "So you can heal him?"

"I can. I do need to know what he is, though. The basis is human, obviously enough. And the wings are broad enough to be an eagle's. The feathers are shaped more like an owl's, though." She tilted her head to one side, considering. "Possibly an eagle-owl's, then. But this tail?"

"He thinks it was a tree-cat," Silverfox said, all business now, though his eyes still sparkled merrily. "The change affected his speech, Healer. He makes animal sounds, but his mind is sharp. And he either gained Mind-speech from the changecircle, or he retained it through the change."

"That will actually make this easier," Rael murmured. Finally, she looked back up at Jase. "Well? Are you going to control yourself?" He scowled at her briefly, then crossed his arms across his chest and leaned against the wall. She heaved a sigh and turned back to her patient. Settling her legs comfortably beneath herself, she took the boy's hands in hers again.

Just before she sank into a Healing trance, she said calmly, "And if it helps you control your tongue in future, know that I'm not actually Valdemaran."

* * *

><p>Jase stared at the back of the beautiful, cheeky woman and bit his tongue, knowing it would do no good to respond. He glared at his uncle when the older man started laughing again. "I like her," Silverfox said.<p>

Inexplicably, Jase felt that he did too. He'd never seen her before, but Healer Rael Evenlight had a reputation for being the most generous touch-Healer in Valdemar. She would use her gift on any who asked for her help personally (or in emergency cases, sent someone they valued to plead their case) if they truly needed it. He knew her by reputation, and through Erlae, who had given them her name as the Healer to ask for for their patient.

Something about her kept drawing his attention back to her still form. It wasn't the form itself, though he admitted, if only to himself, that it was a lovely form. It was something in the way she had shown no hesitation in offering her gift to heal the young changechild. That sort of generosity was rarer and rarer since the Mage Storms over a year ago. Mages stinted, touch-healers stinted, and all those with any power hoarded it.

It was as though she were a pole and his eyes magnets, the way he kept looking at her. Silverfox watched his nephew and hid a smile. Jase, he had noticed, acted a great deal like a man in love. And since this was the first time his nephew had ever laid eyes on the reportedly reclusive Healer, Silverfox thought he might have a good idea of what was going on.

After all, Jase's parents had been lifebonded. It made sense that if anyone would develop a lifebond, it would be him.

Silverfox returned his attention to the Healer in question. Though he felt no physical desire for her, he could- and did- admire the sweet prettiness she possessed. It was not the primped and polished loveliness of the court flowers. It was more the soft, shy prettiness of a common daisy rather than a hothouse rose or an exotic orchid. She had sensibly plaited hair that was a rich chestnut streaked liberally with mahogany and golden oak, pinned in a circlet to the back of her head, out of the way (though he noticed that the humid heat of the small Vale had caused wispy curls to spring loose and flutter about her face.). Her frame under the distinctive Healer's Greens was slender, but by no means the body of a scholar. The girl had strength- even Silverfox had heard of her diligence in training every day with the Collegium Weaponsmaster- and her endurance was something even Kerowyn had commented on. Her winter-pale skin was sprinkled liberally with tawny freckles: not just the small ones across the cheeks and the bridge of the nose that were considered fashionable in court- Rael had enough freckles to convince Silverfox that pale was her natural skin tone, but that she enjoyed spending time in the sun rather than inside.

The most remarkable thing about her appearance, Silverfox decided, were her eyes. The girl had "Companion" eyes: huge, thickly-lashed eyes that were such a stunning blue, they might have been pieces of the sky. What made them remarkable- and somewhat haunting- was the sense that her eyes had seen things mortals shouldn't see. They were depthless, like windows to the Havens.

As he thought this, her eyes flickered open and she blinked several times before suddenly yawning. Taking a deep breath, she smiled slightly. "I've begun a healing on his ribs. There was one puncturing a lung, but I've got it settled back into place now. His wings are unbroken, so there was no need for me there. I've burned out the infections and sealed most of the cuts. The deepest bruises are going to be a bit tender, but I got rid of all of the ones smaller than my fist. Did he tell you his name?"

"Dirk," Silverfox informed her. She nodded absently, her fingers tenderly combing through his tangled hair, feeling that the feathers mingled with it were actually attached to his head.

"He's a beautiful boy," she said softly, her tone faraway. "He looks like Jase did as a child."

Silverfox and Jase both stared at her, but she was too busy staring at her hands. "J-Jase. That was…that was the name of…of one of my brothers. I think."

She could feel that they were both staring at her, but she was finally remembering something, and she wanted to hold onto it with both hands. She closed her eyes. "Ol-older than me," she whispered as the knowledge came to her. "Gold hair. He had gray eyes, and he was taller than me. Always taller than me. He…he…" She sighed as the rest of the memory danced out of reach again. Opening her eyes, she blinked away the sudden tears. "That's all I can remember."

Silverfox reached over and took her hands, turning her to face him. He bent to look in her eyes. "Rael, you don't remember your brother?" he asked softly.

Her eyes wide and frightened, she tried to pull away, but the older man was strong, and her efforts were only half-hearted at best. Finally, she relented and shook her head. She glanced sideways at Jase, who was watching her with curiosity and concern. She unbent her legs and settled with her back against the bed, her legs twisted into a tailor seat. She clutched Silverfox's hand for courage and looked at her lap.

"Erlae could probably tell you better than I. The first few weeks after I woke up are kind of foggy for me." She cleared her throat. "Six years ago, I woke up in Companion Field in the middle of the night with no memory of who I was or where I'd come from. Not even my name. The only thing I knew for certain was that I didn't know anything. The first thing I discovered was my healing ability, but the Healers were concerned because of my lack of memory. They were more interested in studying me than training me, so…so after a few months, I finally faked a recovery and made up a name for myself. Rael felt…familiar. Not quite perfect, but right, somehow." She shrugged. "Over the past few years, I've gotten snatches of memories whenever I go deeply into someone to heal. I think healing others somehow heals a part of myself."

"That's why you're so generous with your gift, isn't it, _kechara_?" Silverfox asked gently, his thumb stroking circles on the back of her hand.

She smiled slightly. "Partly. I'll admit to that bit of selfish motivation, but it's also because…I've found myself to be strongly empathic as well, making it difficult to refuse someone whose need is genuine." She shrugged. "I've remembered faces, but this is the first time I'm remembered a name." She shivered. "I still don't know my own name, though."

Her brief laugh was bitter. "It's been six years and I still don't even know who I am."

Jase joined them at the bedside, crouching beside her to look into her eyes. "You have to know you're a Healer, one who is much in demand from what I hear. You have to know you're an accomplished herbalist and gardener. You have to know you're a compassionate and caring woman." He put a hand on her slumped shoulder. "Just because you don't know your real name doesn't mean you don't know who you are."

Silverfox slowly released her hand as she stared at Jase and Jase stared back at her, so clearly smitten that Silverfox was slightly surprised that Rael couldn't see it as clearly as he could. Jase easily lifted one of her hands in his and squeezed it, his face earnest.

Rael, her cheeks a bright pink now, dropped her eyes in embarrassment and half-heartedly tried to tug her hand free of his warm grip.

Contrary as a cat, Jase used his free hand to lift her chin. Making sure she was looking at him, he lifted her hand that he held to his lips and placed a kiss on her knuckles. "I'm sorry for my harsh words earlier," he said softly.

Rael's blue eyes had gone wide, and she was staring in consternation at Silverfox's handsome nephew. Hard not to notice how handsome he was when he was inches from her face. The man was easily taller than she was- everyone over the age of twelve seemed to be taller than she was- with a set of broad shoulders that topped a wide chest tapering to lean hips. He was more muscular than many of the mages she knew, but she surmised that had a lot to do with his Herald training. Despite the monotony of the gray he wore, Jase was anything but dull-looking. He had the same warm golden skin as the rest of his people, and his mage-gift had bleached his waist-length hair to a shimmering white that he wore braided down his back and ornamented with feathers. He had the same blade of a nose as Silverfox, and the same high cheekbones. But his eyes, she now noted, were the crispest, freshest green she'd ever seen. No leafbud nor emerald she'd ever seen could compare.

She felt heat flood her cheeks once more as she dropped her eyes and gave one more tug of her hand. This time, Jase allowed her to pull free, though from the soft sigh he gave her, he was clearly disappointed. Rael cleared her throat and got clumsily to her feet. "Send for me when he wakes," she said quietly, looking down at the boy with a wistful expression.

"Of course," Silverfox said, pressing his lips together to contain his grin. She nodded to him and started for the stairs. Jase followed her down them, then to the ground. She pretended not to notice until he reached out and touched her arm.

"I'm sorry," he said clumsily. "I didn't…I didn't mean to embarrass you."

Taking a deep breath, Rael steeled herself to look into his eyes. She forced herself to smile. "It's all right," she murmured. "You didn't." She gently pulled herself free and nodded. "Good day, Trainee Magestar." She turned and practically bolted.

That she managed to find the little glass door on her own without getting lost was nothing short of a miracle. She forgot, until she was halfway across Companion Field, that she'd left her woolen mantle hanging on a hook just inside the door. She stopped short and glanced back over her shoulder, frozen with indecision.

The fact that she would be returning when the boy woke up was what started her feet moving again. She'd just get it then.

She made it almost the entire way to her garden at the Healer's Collegium before she halted again. This time, she froze in unreasoning fear. A huge mountain of a Companion stood blocking her way into her private garden, staring at her with a look that could only be described as impatience.

_:I suppose waiting for you to notice me is just a waste of my time,:_ he said, for it was definitely a stallion.

"Need you healing?" she fairly squeaked, backing up.

He sighed. _:Now you're just being unreasonable, Chosen.:_

"No!" she cried, backing up so fast she tripped on the hem of her Greens and went sprawling on her backside. Scrambling to her feet, she repeated the vehement denial. "No!" Without giving him a chance, she whirled and darted into the nearest doorway, which happened to be the main entrance of Healers', breathing so hard she knew that if she didn't calm down, she'd start sobbing.

"Rael-"

She brushed past the speaker, only vaguely noticing that it was one of the many Master Healers who often used some of her rarer and more potent herbs. She didn't stop running until she had reached her small private room, slammed the door, and leaned against it heavily, panting erratically.

Horror still filled her, making her heart pound uncomfortably fast. A fine tremble wracked her petite frame and she heard, despite her best efforts, soft whimpers escaping from her lips at each exhalation.

This was, to her mind, the worst thing that could happen. She was a Healer! She had finally started to remember things from her past. And now, to be Chosen by a Companion…It wasn't right and it wasn't fair. Healers were supposed to be _safe_ from Companions!

_Run!_ A tiny voice whispered, urging her to flee. She wasn't Valdemaran- she had no loyalty to the country or its people. She was introverted and shy by nature- she had few friends, and none she would have called close.

_But the boy…_ she argued with herself. _Who will heal him if not me? Jase was right; Valdemarans hate changechildren._

_Silverfox can find someone else. He could ask his lover. Firesong's still one of the most powerful Healer-Adepts there is. He can do it. Run, before they take even more of your freedom from you!_

Rael shuddered and sank to the floor, her hysterical breathing now devolved into the sobs that had threatened. She huddled behind her door for several long moments, shivering and sobbing until, finally, she was able to wrest control of herself from the pit she'd fallen into.

Standing, she squared her shoulders and wiped her cheeks. She strode to the wardrobe and began pulling spare robes out of them. She packed her winter-weight wool and dyed-leather uniforms first, then the light cotton summer-weight robes. She packed smallclothes and her journal.

Looking around, she nodded absently. Slipping out of her thin shoes, she reached into the wardrobe for her heavy leather boots and dragged them to the bed. Sitting, she forced her feet into them, stomping to settle them firmly. Standing, she retrieved her kit and then opened the door a crack to peer out into the hall.

Seeing no one, she slipped out and strode down the hall towards the kitchens. Unlike the other two Collegia, Healers' didn't have a full mess hall, as such. Since few Healers took a set time for meals, Healers' Collegium had a small dining room in which a sideboard was kept full and ready at all times of the day or night, with non-perishable foods like fruit, fresh bread, hard cheeses and sliced cold meat. Rael created several sandwiches by wrapping some cheese and meat in bread. These she wrapped in a few of her handkerchiefs and stowed on the top of her pack. In the empty bottom pocket, she packed two loaves of slightly-hardened bread, several lumps of cheese, and a handful of apples. She filled all three of the empty skins she had with water and fastened them to her pack. She pulled the straps over her shoulders and snugged them tight. She swirled her thin green cloak around her shoulders over the top of the whole mess. Then she slipped out of the Collegium through a side door and started at a fast clip towards the nearest of the palace gates.

The Guardsman on duty smiled and nodded at her as she left, and she smiled and nodded back. He asked no questions, and she bit back a sigh of relief.

The sight of her Greens, and the briskness of her stride told anyone watching that she was a woman with a destination and a mission, which actually prevented people from calling out to her as they normally did in the lower city.

Obstruction didn't come until she reached the city gate, and even that was only to ask when she would return. "As soon as my errand is completed," she replied loftily. "If it should take all night, I shall send someone with word of my whereabouts." She smiled sweetly at the city guardsmen until, finally, he smiled back and nodded.

"Make sure you send a village lad if you're to stay away from the city after sunset, milady Healer," he admonished her. She nodded and strode away when he released her to do so.

She didn't look back as she strode down the road away from the city, her short legs taking long, open strides. She knew that they would follow her as soon as someone realized she was gone. But she also knew that she couldn't stay.

_I'm not Valdemaran,_ she repeated to herself. _I've lived in Valdemar, but it is not my home. I can swear no vows to them, nor should I. I don't know _what_ I am, but I know that a vow given in ignorance is still a binding vow._

She sighed as she walked. Once out of sight of the city, she removed the cloak and rolled it up. Wrapping the ties at the top of her pack around the rolled bundle, she resituated it on her shoulders and walked on.

Since she had left the city pointed west, she knew that she could choose Rethwellan or Karse to cross the border into. From there, only Rethwellan made use of Healers. The only Healers in Karse were the Sun-priests. She had good knowledge of Valdemaran geography from maps and books, so she knew it would be hundreds of miles before she was able to even see the border.

She reached a small village as the sun was setting; she knew she'd come roughly fifteen miles. When she entered the small inn, she was immediately greeted by a man she guessed to be the proprietor. He beamed as he wiped his hands on his soiled apron. "Be welcome, milady Healer!" he exclaimed. "How may I be of service?"

"I'd trade Healing for a night's lodging, sir," she said softly. "I can Heal by touch, and I've no qualms seeing to your animals if they be the only ones in need."

The man smiled and patted her shoulder gently. "No sick beasts, Healer, but you might have a look at my kitchen boy. He's been limping a bit at his chores the past two days." She nodded and he directed her to a seat near the fireplace. She sat and let her pack slip to the floor, relieving her aching shoulders.

A few moments later, a small boy, maybe seven years old, approached her, bearing a tray with a plate and mug on it. He set them before her and she smiled. "I hear you've been limping for two days, young man," she said soothingly. Those within earshot reacted to her tones as people always did. The atmosphere became much more genial in the blink of an eye.

The boy and his healer didn't notice. He nodded shyly. She smiled and lifted him onto her lap. "Which foot hurts?" she asked. He lifted his right foot. She shifted him so he was sitting on the bench beside her, his feet in her lap. She pulled the shoe off his injured foot and carefully examined his ankle for swelling or heat.

A simple sprain was easily mended and she tickled his sole before slipping the shoe back on. "You'll be careful about jumping off of things for a while, won't you?" she teased him.

"Yes'm. I mean, yes, milady Healer."

She kissed his forehead, which made the sprite beam, and then she lifted him down. As he scampered away, she turned her attention to the thick, rich stew he'd brought her. To her delight, the tankard held neither ale nor water, but a crisp apple cider- her favorite. She ate everything neatly and stacked her empty dishes on the tray.

The inn keeper appeared at her elbow as though like magic, and took the tray. "Would you like to see your room, Milady Healer?"

"Thank you," she nodded, leaning over to pick up her pack. The man hefted it before she could and beckoned her to follow him. He led her up the stairs and opened a door at the top of them.

"Am I correct in assuming you'll be wanting your breakfast early?" he asked as he handed her the pack.

"With the sun, or thereabouts, sir," she replied.

"Our fare is simple, but you'll never leave my table hungry, Healer," he said with pardonable pride.

"If breakfast is half so good as dinner, I will consider that firm truth. I am in your debt, sir."

"Nay, Healer. The cost of fixing the boy would have been more than a night's lodging." He smiled warmly. "Tis why Healers are so welcome everywhere. Is this your first foray out of the city?"

"Aye," she acknowledged. When she didn't choose to elaborate, he smiled and bowed. "If you need anything, please, you have but to call." She smiled and thanked him, then closed the door as he turned to go back down the stairs.

The room, she discovered, was small, simple, and clean, which was all that mattered. The bed was sturdy and covered by a faded and worn blanket that was expertly mended. A washbowl and ewer stood on a small stand beside the small window. She checked; the ewer was filled with clean, cool water.

Rael set her pack on the end of the bed and poured water into the bowl. She splashed the cool liquid on her face and hands and sighed in relief. Removing her overrobe left her clad only in her thin cotton chemise and hose. She sat to pull off her boots and then walked about the room a few times. Then she lay down on the bed and drew the blanket to her waist.

Closing her eyes, she drifted into almost immediate sleep. Sleep plagued by insistent, pleading voices, the bell-like sound of a Companion's hooves on stone, and green eyes. Deep, green eyes filled with adoration and admiration.

And a bright golden light. She blinked against the light and shut her eyes, but it grew brighter and brighter so that even through her eyelids it hurt to look at. She threw up her arm to block it out, and a featherlight touch on her forehead brought her awake with a gasp.

She shot up in an unfamiliar bed, blinking tears from her eyes. The three words, whispered with that soft touch, echoed in her mind. _:Don't be afraid.:_

Rael shivered and hugged herself, surprised at how chilled her skin was. She had no idea what the dreams meant. She had recognized none of the voices, and she avoided thinking of the Companion. But the green eyes…she knew they were Jase's eyes. She hadn't been able to get them out of her mind.

It was the bright light, the touch, and the three words. For some reason, they were _familiar_, and she didn't know why. "Just one more thing I don't know," she muttered. Shaking off the dream, she rose and went to the washbowl.

Splashing the cold water into her face, she dried her hands and face with a scrap of rough cloth set beside the bowl. She briskly set about changing her clothes into something slightly more fresh than her sweaty gardening Greens. Slipping the soiled clothes into the oiled canvas bag for laundry purposes, she stuffed everything back in her pack and then sat down to pull her boots back on.

Once she was dressed, she slipped out of the room and crept down to the first floor. The boy she'd healed, sleepy-eyed with interrupted slumber, handed her a cloth sack. She pulled open the top and smiled when she saw the six stuffed rolls inside, still steaming and radiating heat from the oven. "Three of em's meat and ve-ve-vegetables," the boy said around a yawn. "The othern is fruit and nuts, milady Healer."

"Tell your master thank you," she said, touching the boy's mop of hair. He bobbed his head and raised a hand to hide another yawn. She pulled a roll from the bag and then tied it to her belt. As she strode out the door, she nibbled on her breakfast.

She continued down the road in the dim light of false-dawn, her steps sure. She was mildly surprised that she wasn't sore. For all that she was practically religious about training with the Collegia Weaponmaster every day, she had never walked all day long. And then, to feel nothing…

She mused on it as she walked, nibbling on her roll.

She'd finished the first roll and gone about half a mile when she stopped suddenly, as though she'd been struck by lightning.

Horrified self-recrimination all but nailed her to the road. A pained groan tore from her throat and she smacked her forehead.

In all of her hurried preparations, she had left both her sword and her quarterstaff in her weapons' rack. "Stupid, stupid, stupid!" she hissed. She would either have to go back, which she'd rather not do, or hope that she could find a weaponsmaker in the next town she came to and pray that she didn't run into trouble in the interim.

Taking a deep breath, she started walking again, continuing down the road away from Haven. There was no going back, not now.


End file.
